Strength

As everyone knows, Nick is deployed on his 2nd tour to Iraq. The hardest thing for me to deal with has been taking on everything by myself and dealing with it. I have to look very deep in myself to find the strength I need. I have always pulled most of my strength from Nick. We've been together almost 15 years. To say I lean on him for strength would be just scratching the surface of what I depend on him for. Last week, we had a scare with the dreaded swine flu. One of Zachary's teachers was exposed to it and didn't tell anyone. She was not feeling well, went to the ER and was tested for the swine flu. It was confirmed that she did have it. So that meant that Zachary had been directly exposed to this terrible illness that we've all dreaded for so many months. When he told me 2 days ago that he wasn't feeling well, I was so worried that he had it. He started to spike a fever on Thursday night and was complaining that his throat hurt. Of course, I went online and began searching for the symptoms of the swine flu. And of course, that was the worst thing I could have done. Doing that always make the anxiety worse for me and yet I still do it. So I decided I needed to take Zachary to the dr this morning. I didn't know what it was but I knew that with me going out of town and Zachary staying with my parents next week, he needed to be looked at even it it was nothing. So we got an appointment, thankfully, and the dr looked in his throat and said she wanted to test him for strep throat. I prayed that that was what it was. As I was praying, I realized what I was praying for but I also realized that strep throat was the lesser of two evils. The test came back positive and Zachary was diagnosed with strep throat, thankfully. He was prescribed antibiotics and he will be fine.

I realize that I am not the only Army wife that is going through this but sometimes it sure feels like it. I have a great support system in my family but they are all 2 hours away. Be supportive of your friends who are going through this. It's so hard to ask for help and when we do, we hope you'll say yes.